Day before yesterday a peaceful serenity spread over my face as I woke up.It was the last day of God Ganesha Festival and I finally thought God gave me the greatest gift, the gift of peace as I once again came face to face with my past which had been haunting me for a while now.
I realized in those moments ,I encountered my past again, a prolonged suffering or longing anymore for it to become a reality is not something that will now be sufficient for me to be peaceful.The past has changed its contours over the time and it seemed no more relevant to be dwelling in those moments as the present I hoped for will never be the same even if it becomes reality now.Nevertheless I still wanted somewhere it to become my reality still but the part of me said to me, its ok even if the past disagree we have been through times which has taught us a lot of valuable life lessons and that I can make it through even if it means letting past go and persevering through the new dreams that I am going to make my reality.
Maybe that encounter was needed for me to see through things clearly and yes the human nature took over my emotional roller coaster driver seat for sometime after that but as time passed I became more and more peaceful.I began to see my quality where I strive to not let the after effect last longer as they used to do earlier and I did not want to waste the most valuable thing in this world that I have, that is my time.
I have learnt the importance of spending time carefully hard way, I know what I have missed in the past due to misusing my time and thus maybe it helped me to discipline my emotions at a much faster rate than before.
I guess, in the end when you realize what actually matters, what is really important to you and who really stood beside you through those times and what responsibilities you want to adhere ,you become strong enough to make a decision ,you become peaceful enough to see things clearly, you get involved enough in the present that you finally take off your flight from the depression island, you become confident enough to believe in your capability and challenge yourself to fail taking a different route to your life journey .
Guess what ,its most satisfying as well.